You Go First

Both protagonists are managing shifting family dynamics in the novel: Charlotte’s father is recovering in the hospital after a heart attack, and Ben’s parents are getting divorced. Both protagonists, neither of whom have siblings or many friends, have healthy dynamics with their parents, so when their comfortable situations change for the first time, they feel the effects deeply, struggling with disbelief, self-blame, guilt, sadness, anger, and other complicated emotions. At the same time, they can’t express their true feelings to their parents and try to distract themselves by playing online Scrabble or researching random topics online. They also exhibit uncharacteristic behaviors, such as skipping school or struggling to pay attention in class. Over the course of the novel, they learn to communicate more openly with their families rather than running from their feelings, and they learn that this is key to maintaining healthy family dynamics.

When both protagonists first learn of their new situations, their reaction is shock, and at first, they are stuck and unable to process their feelings. For example, Charlotte notes that “[her] feet had turned to stone. She couldn’t move. […] There was a weight on her chest that wouldn’t go away” (52). Charlotte’s physical symptoms mimic her father’s—a pressure on her heart—symbolizing how the news makes her feel like her life is in danger.