Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

Smith examines the issue of grief, attempting to broaden the reader’s understanding of this concept. Grief is not solely tied to the death of a loved one, but can also accompany other significant losses. The global COVID-19 pandemic is an example of a large-scale event that can evoke profound feelings of loss, encompassing lost moments, opportunities, and the comfort of certainty.

Smith emphasizes that grief is a natural human response, not an indication of personal failure or a disorder. She views it as essential to dispel misconceptions that treat grief as an anomaly. She also notes that grief encompasses more than just sadness; it can manifest as an intense yearning for what was lost. Human connections are fundamental, and the end of a relationship doesn’t diminish the need for that connection. In keeping with the goal of expanding the definition of grief, Smith points out that grief is not experienced solely in the mind; it also manifests in the body. The combined emotional and physical strain of grief activates the stress response.

While avoidance is a common response to the overwhelming nature of grief, Smith cautions against this reaction, as it often leads to feelings of numbness or detachment that can be detrimental, sometimes resulting in depression, suicidal ideation, or substance use.