The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

Chapter 11 begins with the story of Emily, a woman suffering from terminal breast cancer, whose experience illustrates the detrimental effects of denying the reality of death. This story serves as a foundation for Rinpoche’s discussion of the importance of open, honest communication and emotional support for those facing their final days.

Rinpoche emphasizes the significance of creating a relaxed, trusting environment that encourages dying individuals to express their deepest fears and emotions. He highlights the necessity of listening and providing unconditional love and support, without imposing one’s own beliefs or expectations. He discusses the complexities of human emotions, advising on how to handle with equanimity feelings like anger and sadness that may arise during death. Furthermore, Rinpoche touches on the use of humor and the avoidance of taking things personally as strategies to lighten the atmosphere and foster a deeper connection.

The chapter also addresses the practical aspects of aiding the dying, including the need to resolve unfinished business and facilitate a peaceful transition. Rinpoche suggests exercises for healing past wounds and encourages the expression of love and forgiveness. He advocates for the gentle communication of the truth about one’s impending death, allowing individuals to prepare spiritually and emotionally for their departure.