Know My Name: A Memoir

Miller continues to operate in a dissociated state to survive and refuses to attend therapy. She meets Alaleh and her advocate Bree for the first time. She is naïve about the commitment this trial will require of her and foreshadows, “[W]e did not know the end would be almost four years from now” (55). Alaleh advises Miller to “Be on [her] best behavior” as “[her] character was now an asset my DA would need” (57).

Miller’s boyfriend Lucas comes to visit from Philadelphia, where he attends graduate school. Miller reflects on her past relationship with her high school boyfriend. Their relationship ended in Miller’s final year of college after she experienced a school shooting at the University of Southern California, Santa Barbara: “We were cast in different universes; my side suddenly dark, his light” (60). After a summer of heavy drinking and casual sex, Miller found stability in her first job and soon after met Lucas in a bar. Their relationship is new but committed. Miller asks Lucas to play the voicemail she left him on the night of the party and tells him about the sexual assault. He comforts her “crawl[ing] right next to the pain” (64).