How to Win Friends and Influence People

First published in 1936, Dale Carnegie’s book How to Win Friends and Influence People launched the American self-help industry, sold over 30 million copies, and became a template for the thousands of self-improvement books that followed. It asserts that success with others depends on listening, showing appreciation, and empathizing with them. The book was revised in 1981; the 2020 eBook re-issue of that edition is the basis for this study guide.

The book is divided into four parts; in each, the author describes principles that lead to successful interactions with others. He cites the stories of people, both famous and ordinary, who practiced these principles and reaped great benefits. The chapters are short and pithy; each focuses on a specific technique and how to apply it when interacting with other people.

Part 1, “Fundamental Techniques in Handling People,” introduces the reader to three basic ideas for success with others: Don’t criticize them; show them honest appreciation; and find ways to give them what they want. 

Part 2, “Ways to Make People Like You,” contains six chapters that delve in detail into the mechanics of popularity. The first chapter recommends becoming genuinely interested in others. The second chapter discusses the power of a smile and how to bestow it on everyone you meet. The third chapter emphasizes the importance of remembering and using a person’s name. The three remaining chapters describe the value of being a good listener, the importance of taking an interest in topics dear to other people’s hearts, and the power of making others feel important.

Part 3, “How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking,” contains 12 chapters that warn against the pitfalls of arguments and suggest ways both to avoid confrontation and to handle conflicts smoothly. Among the ideas: Always be friendly; never tell them they’re wrong, but if you are wrong, admit it; let the other person do most of the talking; sympathize with their concerns; point out the things you already agree on; let them arrive at your way of thinking as if it were their own; and appeal to their nobler motives.

The demands of leadership are addressed in Part 4, “Be a Leader—How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment.” Criticism will cause a backlash unless prefaced with compliments. Ordering people around also generates resistance; it’s better to be humble, ask for input, and request help in a way that inspires workers to do the work proudly.

The central concept of How to Win Friends and Influence People is that people want to be appreciated and feel important, and that if we praise them and encourage them to do their best, the result will be a significant improvement in their behaviors and attitudes and a surge in our effectiveness with others.

Dale Carnegie made a career of teaching people to be effective public speakers and influencers. His workshops and seminars helped thousands become more confident communicators, and his many books and pamphlets focus on the stories of people who used powerful techniques to achieve success in their careers and personal lives. His company, Dale Carnegie & Associates, still teaches these principles in cities around the world.