All You Can Ever Know: A Memoir

“I had always felt like the much-adored but still obvious alien in the family.”

Alienation was a defining aspect of Nicole’s childhood. Being adopted and being Korean in a predominantly white environment fueled these feelings, which Nicole continues to struggle with as an adult. From the beginning, the memoir exposes The Difficulties of Being a Transracial Adoptee.

“He pulled his eyes into slits.”

Nicole first experienced racism in the second or third grade, when a boy she carpooled with pulled his eyes and hurled racial slurs at her. She continued to experience overt racism throughout her childhood, which exacerbated her feelings of isolation. Her experiences in the community were also at odds with the values of her colorblind parents, who believed that race was irrelevant.

“Growing up, I often wished I could be more like my adoptive parents.”

Nicole felt like an outsider as a child, largely because of her racialized appearance. In addition to wishing she looked like her adoptive parents, Nicole envied their nonchalant attitude toward her adoption.